a fresh dose of crazy

Crazy came back. Or maybe she never actually went away and I was just fooling myself. Either way, this time we did something about it.

I get home yesterday around 5:00 and take the doggies out, go back inside and head upstairs to change. And the doorbell rings. In between pants of course. So I scurry to get dressed and get downstairs to see who’s at the door, and when I’m about mid-stairwell, the person on the other side of the door starts POUNDING and ringing the doorbell over and over at the same time, a la crazy psycho murderous Marky Mark in the movie Fear. At this point there is no doubt in my mind who it is and you know I’m not gonna answer the door. As far as I’m concerned, she can sit out there all day and pound until her crazy man hands get too tired to pound anymore. And of course the doggies are going absolutely crazy barking at the door and whining at me and I let them make as much noise as they want while I stand in the middle of the living room behind the wall that separates the kitchen door from me. Then the pounding subsides for a moment and I peek around the corner and see her through the kitchen window going into the backyard! She’s frickin’ in the backyard walking around and I don’t know if she’s looking in the windows to see if she can see me in the house or if she’s admiring my handy work of pulling up all of her nasty plants and bird feeders. Either way, she’s in my backyard and my heart is pounding in my face. Once she’s had enough back there, she comes back to the kitchen door for some more pounding and doorbell ringing while I stay frozen in the living room with visions in my head of her breaking a window to get in. Finally, after a few more minutes of banging, she gives up and leaves. I actually stand there for a good 5 minutes before peeking out the window just to make sure that she’s actually gone and won’t see me peekin’.

Then, as I take my first breath in what seems like an hour, I start to get mad that I literally just hid in my house from someone who has no business being there. Not cool. I’m telling you though, this woman is certified crazy and every encounter I’ve had with her has proven that to me more and more; the last thing I want is any contact with her. And if I had to do it all over again, I’m telling ya I would hide again just like I did yesterday. Although maybe next time I’ll have a baseball bat in hand just to make myself feel better.

I told Scott what happened via text and didn’t hear back from him until he got home. He was fuming! So after a run to Home Depot to get us some shiny new outdoor garbage cans, he called the cops and because we’re unincorporated Glenview, we don’t deal with the Glenview police, we deal directly with the Cook County Sheriff. Hehehe.

So the cop actual calls her cell phone number that she for some reason gave to Scott at the closing and tells her she is not allowed to come to the house anymore and she needs to have her mail forwarded. And guess what? She was MAD that we “told on her”. Then she told the cop all about how much she bought the house for 10 years ago and how her husband did $30k worth of work fixing it up and how the property values have gone so far down, blah blah blah, same thing she told us, our real estate agent, our attorney, the cashier at the grocery store, the lifeguard at the swimming pool, and every person that lives or works or breathes within a 20 mile radius of her at any given moment. I get it. I’d be upset, too. But I can promise you I wouldn’t be checking the mailbox and wandering around in the backyard 3 weeks after someone new moved in. The cop told her to leave us alone and stay away. We’ll see if that actually happens. Call me stooooopid, but I’m guessing it won’t.

On a happier note, I vowed to not be moody and snarky with Scott and I’ve been doing well I think. I did not, however, promise that I wouldn’t take anymore pictures of him getting cozy in the nooks of our new couches:

p.s. both doggies have brown eyes but in pictures, Hazel’s eyes glow green and Princess’s glow red. I wonder why?

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5 Comments

Filed under craziness, home, ridiculousness

5 responses to “a fresh dose of crazy

  1. That…is….so….scary! I would be hiding too, I don’t blame you! This lady is ridiculous.

  2. Jane

    buy an electric fence. electrocute her as she tries to go onto your property.

    • Seriously Jane, your comments on Crazy make me laugh every time, I love how each one gets a little more, what’s the word….um….pure-evil-genius with a side of awesomeness?

      • Jane

        Not so sure about the genius part, but the evil is definitely in me– in a playful, angry teenager kind of way.

  3. Pingback: business in the front, party in the back | rabit stew

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