can i get a sticker?

Hi there.

So I’ve been a little absent lately which is funny considering a lot of the friends whose blogs I follow are doing something I would never be able to commit to – it’s a minor form of torture called NaBloPoMoSomeThingOrOther where one writes a blog post every day during the month of November. If I had signed myself up for that it would have made a liar out of me, plain and simple, and no one likes a liar.

Anywho, let me tell you about the ridiculousness I’ve been dealing with for the last few days….

My license plate sticker expires in 3 weeks and normally I would have gotten a renewal notice in the mail by now. Now because my car registration has my old city address on it, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was originally sent there; however, considering I had my mail forwarded when I moved you would think that it, especially being a government issued document, would have shown up at my house, but no, that would be too easy. So last week I went to the DMV to 1. finally change my address on my driver’s license and 2. get my plate sticker (apparently you can walk in, pay for it, and leave with it. Ahem, usually).

Now I have no idea how the Department of Motor Vehicles works in any state other than IL, but here you walk in, tell them what you’re there for, get a number like at the deli counter at the grocery store, and sit and wait until your number is called. And because I was there for 2 different things, lucky me got 2 different numbers.

So I sit.

And I wait.

And finally I get called up to the most friendly, pleasant woman I have ever encountered at the DMV. She complimented me on my hair and my engagement ring and I wanted to ask if I could be her best friend right there and then. Instead she changed my address in the system, made me take the little eye test where you press your forehead against a nasty black bar to turn the machine on, then you read line 5 and tell her where you see the lights flashing – left side, right side, or both (hint: it’s always both). She gives me a paper and tells me to sit back down and wait until my second number is called.

So I sit.

And I wait.

And finally I get called again and go up to another counter to a man, not as complimentary but just as pleasant, and he’s all set to tell me how much to make the check out for and then he says the dreaded words. “Well, it seems we have a problem here.” No one likes hearing those words. Turns out I have to get my car emissions tested before I can get my sticker. Defeated, I went to the cashier to pay for my change of address where I was informed that my new BFF forgot to write down the results of my eye test so lucky me got to take it again.

Oh, emissions testing….yeah, that’s another IL thing that I know not all of you have to go through out there in bloggo land. Once in a while, us Illinoisans have to go to a cute little place where you pull into a garage, turn your car off, tell them how many miles you have, then go sit in a tiny little room that looks like a toll booth that’s literally 2 feet away from your car for 3 minutes or so…

(those are the ‘waiting rooms’ and the cars pull up in between them)

…until they open the door and tell you to get back into your car. They hand you a slip of paper that hopefully says PASS and you’re good to go. Oh, and your check engine light can NOT be on or it’s an instant fail.

Mine’s on.

I need an O2 sensor replaced and I’ve known this for eh, 6 months now? But guess what…when my check engine light came on, I went to Car-X and the fucker quoted me $450. Funny considering the part should be somewhere in the $150 range and it’s a matter of unplugging the old one and plugging in the new one. And when I laughed at the guy and drove away, he called me later and left me a voicemail:

“Uh, hi, this is Dick from Car-X. So, uh, turns out we can take care of your car for $250. Thanks.”

Sorry, that one just left a really bad taste in my mouth and I chose to deny the fact that my check engine light was on. And up until now I’ve been denying it so well! Oh, and backing up a bit, one wouldn’t think I’d have to have my car emissions tested yet considering I bought it a year ago, but no, Jaime learned something new this week. Any car that is 4 years old has to be tested every 2 years starting with the year it turns 4. My car is an ’06. Damn.

So anywho, long story short, I took my car this morning to a place down the street that charged me a measly $220 (ok, it hurt but not as bad as the Car-X rip-off would have), had my car ready in a few hours, and my check engine light is finally not staring me in the face. So from there I went straight to the emissions testing place.

I pulled up in the garage. I told him my mileage. I took 2 steps to my left and sat in the waiting room. 3 minutes later he told me to get back in my car, so I did. Then he handed me my paper.I know you can pass, I know you can fail. I didn’t know you could be:

Jaime learned something else new today. Yep, the Illinois Air Team rejected me. Turns out the computer in my car needs to reset since I literally JUST had work done, so I have to drive around for a day or 2 then go back. And since they’re closed tomorrow for Veteran’s Day, Friday will be the day. Then once I’m no longer deemed a reject to the Secretary of State, I get to go back to the DMV, get a number, sit, wait, pay $78, and get my fucking sticker. Absolutely ridiculous.

Oh, and another reason I’ve been a little absent is because I’ve been writing secret blog posts that I haven’t published yet about how I’m pregnant.

Hehehehe