35 weeks

It’s official, I’ve now been pregnant longer than my sister, she had her twins the morning of 35 weeks to the day. I was kinda secretly hoping I’d go into labor today…no such luck. 🙂

This was a week of discoveries for me:

I discovered that when I walk up a flight of stairs, my thighs hit my belly with each step.

I discovered that when I sit at my desk, my belly is now so far out that it sits on my lap.

I discovered that people STARE at me. I don’t blame them, my shape has become a true vision of gravity-defying curves, my friends.

I discovered that once your uterus is actually in your ribcage, it can be really really painful to swallow food if you’re not sitting up straight.

Speaking of food, I discovered that Del Monte has packaged the bestest grapefruit in the world, but at the same time has designed the container in such a way so as to torture a pregnant woman who is craving said grapefruit but has sausages for fingers and can’t get them around the lid far enough to open it. Bitches.

I discovered the Miracle Ball Method. Holy crap, my back hasn’t felt so good for…pretty much ever, and after contacting the company to tell them just how awesome they are, they offered to donate 2 kits (book plus 2 squishy balls) for a giveaway for my awesome readers… one kit for my fellow preggers and the other for my non-preggers. Giveaway coming soon!!

I discovered that I can put down a sleeve of Ritz crackers in less than 3 minutes then wonder what’s for lunch.

I discovered that I pee no less than 8 times between 8:00am and noon (even if I drink very little), after which the swelling in my hands, face, and feet is gone. Apparently I’m peeing out all the excess fluid I retain over night. Weird.

I discovered that turning my body to the side to squeeze in between 2 things is no longer effective. I fit better when going through things head-on.

I discovered that Babies R Us has a crap ton of stuff on their website that says you can buy it in the stores, yet one store seems to have completely different things from the next. Online shopping is much easier through them, though I’m currently trying to quickly buy up all the stuff I know we’ll need to make sure it arrives before baby girl does.

I discovered that there are things about pregnancy that aren’t talked about but I’m not sure why…

…like the fact that your boobies get darker – not the nips, the actual melons – it looks like they got a tan. I checked with others to make sure that I’m not the only weirdo with tan boobies, all of whom confirmed that this indeed happened to them, too.

…and the fact that you get little jolts of pain in your girly bits that feel like bolts of lightning that stop you dead in your tracks and make your husband think you may be going into labor. Again, lightning bolts were confirmed by outside sources that I’m not the only one. Apparently they are actually caused by your precious little one grinding his/her head against your cervix. Thanks, sweetie, mommy loves you, too.

…and the fact that tooting is a dangerous gamble, best done at home with a change of underwear nearby. Farting = peeing yourself. Other gambles include sneezing, coughing, bending over, putting on your socks, and laughing.

And here’s your 35 week belly shot:

It’s kinda starting to look like a torpedo!

For past weeks, visit My Pregnancy Calendar

<– 34 weeks

36 weeks–>

Advertisements

22 Comments

Filed under pregnancy, pregnant

22 responses to “35 weeks

  1. Pingback: 34 weeks | rabit stew

  2. Ahh! You’re so close!! I know I don’t comment often, but I absolutely adore every one of your posts and always look forward to them!

    Can’t wait to see Baby Girl!!

  3. You SERIOUSLY crack me up. And since I haven’t had the chance to rub your belly, I guess I’ll just wait to meet your munchkin!

  4. EEEE! I’m so excited for you and cannot wait to see pics of Baby Girl! Thinking of you and hoping everything is going well 🙂

  5. ambergontrail

    I had the torpedo belly, and I loved it. Isn’t it weird wielding that thing around? Getting up and aiming it toward where you want to find yourself when you get up. 🙂 You look fantastic, seemingly all belly. I hated the swelling. My feet would jiggle when I stepped, it was nauseating. Did you get the carpal tunnel, too? That was a PEACH. I would need my husband to unclaw my hands so I could brush my hair and teeth every morning. Haha. Sad.

    • Oh yeah, carpel tunnel is getting more and more fun by the day! It started with a little achiness in my knuckles just over a week or 2 ago, and now when I wake up in the mornings it feels like I was holding a 50 lb. barbell all night.

  6. As always, you crack me up!! “I discovered that I can put down a sleeve of Ritz crackers in less than 3 minutes then wonder what’s for lunch”. Awesomeness!!

  7. You look so stinkin’ cute!! As always, love every single one of your posts 🙂

  8. Oh Jaime, thanks for being so honest! I really appreciate it and I’m not even pregnant. I can’t imagine how nice it must be for other preggos. 🙂

  9. Jacqueline

    I am just one of the random followers that first found you on weddingbee and moved over here because of how much your posts make me laugh. I am also currently pregnant, but only 14 weeks. I look forward every thursday to your weekly posts so that I can get a glimpse of what is to come, but mostly just to get a good laugh. Thank you for keeping things real and light hearted. Can’t wait in a few weeks to see what baby girl actually looks like.

  10. You make me laugh every single time. My husband looked over my shoulder the other night when I was reading your post, and when he saw your picture, he got a crazy look and asked, “Oh my god, how can she stand up? She’s so tiny and then one big bump!” He was quite impressed with your ability to defy gravity!

    • Hahaha, the standing part isn’t hard, it’s the actually getting myself off the couch part that’s tricky! Once I’m up, I’m kinda like a weeble…weebles wobble but they don’t fall down 🙂

  11. you’re not kidding about the gravity-defying part! gravity or no gravity, you look wonderful.

  12. I love how candid you are!! You should write a baby book about what to expect when youre expecting – the unedited version!! You are still looking very beautiful – you really do have a pregnancy glow! And I can eat a sleeve of Ritz crackers in 3 minutes and Im not pregnant. That scares me.

  13. Girl you are GORGEOUS and HILARIOUS and I want to be just like you when I am preggers.

  14. Wow, that IS one gravity-defying bump! You look gorgeous, and I would imagine a lot of those stares are because few pregnant women at your stage still look so beautiful. Most are swollen fatties with a body resembling a landslide (at least, I know I am!). If you modelled maternity wear, more women would buy it! 😉 xxx

  15. Jane

    I know the comment is a little belated, but i just now got an internet connection for the first time in weeks. i can honestly say that I missed reading this more than I missed some other special things. (i almost missed it more than wrestling with my big brother!)

    Your belly is starting to look a little torpedo-ish. Pretty awesome. You should take a picture of it direct from the front. Having a baby jam his/herself into your innards sounds a little painful.

    Loved the post about the socks. It made me giggle very much.

  16. Pingback: Miracle Ball giveaway!! | rabit stew

  17. Pingback: 36 weeks | rabit stew

  18. Pingback: 38 weeks | rabit stew

  19. Pingback: aha! moments from a new momma | rabit stew

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s