With almost 1,000 views on this little ol’ blog yesterday, it’s become quite clear that you’re doing a fantastic job of keeping everyone waiting with bated breath for your arrival. Heck, you even got a comment out of Uncle Steve yesterday! Now that’s impressive.
I wanted to start by saying that all of those painful contractions I was having last night? Yeah, about that…we need to just agree right now to no more fake-outs, please. Your daddy and I can’t take it anymore. FYI, they call it ‘labor’ for good reason but when you stick the word ‘false’ in front of it, it just becomes a cruel cruel joke.
Everyday you’ve been hearing your daddy say, “press the button, baby, press the button!” because we hope you’re looking for the exit button and we know it’s dark in there and hard to find. But I wanted to clarify – it’s not actually on my ribs so you can stop sticking your foot OVER them trying to find it because that just freaks me out.
I’m really hoping you’re trying to make us proud by being right on time because that would mean you’ll be here tomorrow. But just an FYI, if you’re actually planning on staying in there for as long as possible, you’ve got 1 week left until your eviction notice is served, then we’re coming in to get you.