aha! moments from a new momma

I wrote a while back about things I had discovered during pregnancy that you never hear about…..well guess what? I’m discovering there’s SO much more after the baby comes that I’d never heard about…throw in a little sleep deprivation and one can start to feel a little slow. 🙂 I’m obviously by no means ANY sort of baby expert considering I’ve only been at this for a whopping 2 weeks, but I wanted to share a few aha moments I’ve had so far…

1) Baby nail clippers: We bought a fancy clipper with a magnifying glass on it that I totally thought would come in handy for baby’s little talon nails. Yeah, about those…they suck. You know what works 10,000,000 times better? Put the clippers down and just bite ’em. That’s right, bite those sharp jabby razor blade baby nails right off. It’s much easier and you know you won’t make the little fingers bleed. Baby will thank you.

2) Bottle nipple flow: Now I have no idea if this is true for all brands, but did you know that bottle nipples are actually labelled according to flow? My sister-in-law told me this little tidbit after I practically drowned Summer with a faster flow nipple, poor little wet baby was like a geyser. I would have never thought to check under the hood but there it is (‘S’ for slow and ‘M’ for medium I presume on our Medela ones)…

3) Breastfeeding tip: I kept forgetting which side I had fed Summer on last so I started putting a barrette on that side of my hair to remember for next time. Another option: a cute obnoxious pinky ring that you can switch over at each feeding.

As of yesterday, my wedding band fits again. Hooray!

4) Mommy-panic overdrive: Apparently it happens to the best of us. No matter how healthy my baby is, I INCESSANTLY check to make sure she’s still breathing. Calm, cool, collected, carefree little old me is becoming quite the neurotic breath checker…in the middle of the night I actually bolt upright out of a deep sleep with terror in my heart to check no less than once every hour. In the car I convince myself that every sound she makes is her gasping for air because a bug flew in her mouth and is swinging from her uvula stinging the back of her throat over and over just to torture me. Every time Scott swaddles her (which he does perfectly, I’m just a whacko nut-job) I always readjust the neck part because I’m convinced it’s going to grow arms and crawl up her chin and cover her mouth and suffocate her because I’m ridiculous.

5) The sweats: I was actually warned about this one by my friend Simona but I had no idea just how bad it would be until I experienced it first hand. When you’re pregnant, you carry a LOT of excess fluid, and after you have the baby, your body has to get rid of it. Enter the full-body-sweats. In my sleep. In the middle of the day. It doesn’t matter. Every single day, I have at least 1 episode of hot, uncomfortable, fully drenching body sweats. Dripping. Smelly. Sweat.

6) Feminine products: The hospital will send you home with a few packs of pads. Put those aside and go out and buy yourself the mother effer of all pads…

My sister recommended these after she had her twins and I can’t thank her enough. These babies are the size of your forearm and practically go front to back from your belly button to your spine.

You and your pants will thank me.

7) Compression garment: They’re awesome and a lot cheaper than a belly bandit. While I’m happy to report that I’m down 20 pounds, my stomach is not exactly flat yet, though it’s getting there with a bazillion crunches a day and a little extra help from this guy:

I bought one of these on Amazon here and I’ve been wearing it almost everyday…it’s awesome for keeping the tummy pulled in tight and engaging my super stretched out core muscles. Can’t beat that for $12! I can’t promise that it’ll help get your tummy back faster but it’s definitely nice not feeling jiggly all the time.

That’s all I have for now because I have to go check the baby to make sure that a wild boar didn’t find its way into the house and is now standing on her chest squeezing out her last breath because although unlikely, it could happen.

I have a feeling this will become a to be continued post…



Filed under ridiculousness

9 responses to “aha! moments from a new momma

  1. Wow. I love this post – so many truths (seriously, biting their nails is WAY easier…this should be in the dang books) and it brings back so many fun memories. Here’s an “a-ha” moment for you though…my kids are 9, 6, and 3 (well, in 2 days she’ll be 3) and I STILL CHECK TO SEE IF THEY’RE BREATHING…EVERY. FLIPPING. NIGHT.! Honestly, before I go to bed I check them (hand to God, if I can’t tell, I’ll wake them a bit), if I wake up in the middle of the night I check them, if I get up before they do (HA!!) I check them. I don’t know what I’ll do when they go off to college; I figure I’ll just call and leave a (60) message(s) “Hi baby, are you ok? Are you still breathing? Seriously, this is your mom…call me the moment you wake up…I’m not f’ing kidding.” 🙂 Welcome to mommyhood ❤

  2. Simona

    All of your realizations are SO TRUE!! Oh, and you reminded me that I have a compression garment somewhere buried in my closet! I’ll have to dig that our since I still look about 5 months pregnant. You’re a genius with your system of remembering which side you nursed on last. I’ve been writing it down, which is a PITA.

    I’ll email you and Scott soon. Maybe we can have a baby-visit!

  3. Creen - Colleen

    That pad is just disturbing :S May as well wear a diaper.

  4. You look fabulous! And your little tidbits are definitely true!

  5. Wow. Can’t wait for your other interesting things that no one ever thinks about when pregnant.

  6. maloke

    you look fantastic for a lady who just gave birth! actually, you look fantastic in general! i hope you will share summer’s birth story soon. i am currently overdue with my own little lady, and as a loyal follower of your blog, i’d love to read it 🙂

  7. this is fascinating. keep it coming! and you look great, by the way!

  8. Miss Iris

    hahahahaha, i remember the first time I sat down wearing that pad. The return to tampons was such a welcome relief. Good idea with the pinky ring, I never came up with such an easy way to remember!

  9. Pingback: breath sounds | rabit stew

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