stream of conciousness

I swear, every other minute I think of a new blog post to write but then end up on the couch shoving a boob into someone’s mouth (usually Summer’s) and the post never gets written. Motherhood is a glamorous job, my friends.

Anywho, I figured I’d combine all the things I’ve been wanting to share into one biggie post whether everything flows or not, and here goes nothin’:

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At the very present moment, I’m kinda enjoying the fact that for the first time, Summer absolutely refuses to have anything to do with me and only her daddy will do. I got her to sleep, left the house for a total of 20 minutes, and the second I came back she started crying. And for the last 3 hours, every time Scott leaves the room, she cries no matter what I do… I think he thinks I’m pinching her when he turns around just so I can have another glass of wine while he holds her. So not true, I promise.

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The beautiful new blanket from Aunt Helen is a hit:

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I got on the treadmill for the first time today and I really think it made my day. Mentally, I just felt good all day and I know it’s because of the mini workout. Also, I still have that size 4 dress in my closet holding its breath for me…my sister’s wedding is 7 weeks away and I can almost zip my dress up the back. Almost. I have around 11 pounds to lose before I’m back at my pre-pregnancy weight, and while I have people in my ear telling me that I look great and reminding me that I have to give myself a break since I just had the baby 3 weeks ago, I’m not gonna lie…it’s motivation to look in the mirror and see a body that is so close to where I want to be, yet is gonna take a little work. I’m up for the challenge.

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My sister got me out of the house the other day and I couldn’t be more grateful…since the baby was born, I’ve been becoming quite the hermit and I’m sad to admit, it was completely out of fear. There wasn’t anything in particular I was afraid of, it was just kind of the overall fear of the unknown…I’ve never been out with a baby that I was completely responsible for and just assumed it would be a lot easier to stay home where I knew what to expect for the most part, where strangers wouldn’t be inconvenienced by my ineptitude. And guess what? I survived. We survived. I’ve now changed a diaper in the trunk of my car for the first time. I’ve officially breastfed in the backseat parked in a parking lot full of people shopping for gardening products. I figured out that if you have a baby in a stroller and have to use the bathroom, you take the stroller into the handicapped stall with you. And if the stroller doesn’t fit, you take the baby and leave the stroller, and if someone wants to steal your stroller, so be it. If the baby starts wailing in the middle of lunch, no one is going to get annoyed or ask you to leave. If the baby screams in the car, sometimes singing louder than she’s screaming will get her to quiet down, and if it doesn’t, she’ll scream all the way home but forget about it the moment you walk in the door.

And after facing all of these situations, I took Scott out the next day to experience the competent feeling that comes with facing it all head-on. Seriously, I feel like I could take on the world as mommy now. And Scott learned firsthand everything that I learned the day before, as well as the fact that if the baby has poop go up her back and all over his hand, he’ll survive, clean her off, finish his lunch, and laugh about it all later.

There is no greater feeling than going from flying under the radar and just kinda fakin’ it to truly feeling like you know what you’re doing. So I thank you Julie, my bff, my sister, my partner in crime.

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Scott goes back to work in a few days and I can’t believe it’s been a month already. I’m a little scared to not have him around for the moments where Summer is screaming and I’m at the end of my rope and can pass her over and take a breather for a moment…I have a feeling I’ll be spending some time at my parents’ house over the next 8 weeks.

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My days now happen in 3 hour increments. Baby wakes up every 3 hours at night which I’m guessing has a lot to do with it, but I catch myself looking at the clock thinking it’s been 6-8 hours since such-and-such happened only to realize that it’s only been 3. Time is completely blown to smithereens. I feel like 10-second-Tom from 50 First Dates. “Hi, I’m Tom, nice to meet you…”

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As of today, my engagement ring is back on my finger! Yes, it’s a little tight and yes, I’ll need a stick of butter and a blow torch to get it off, but it’s on and I’m happy. 🙂

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I’m both breastfeeding and giving the baby formula, a combo that I wouldn’t be able to live without. I seriously don’t know how women do the exclusive breastfeeding thing, I give them 1 million times credit….I imagine it’d be like being on call 24 hours a day, can’t be without the baby for more than a few hours, your body is still not your own so no alcohol and sushi and corn dogs, like being pregnant for another few months to a year…basically super stressful. While there’s so much info out there about “breast is best” and I absolutely love the bonding time I share with Summer while breastfeeding her, it took a few days for Scott and I to agree on the fact that giving our baby formula is not a bad thing. It’s FDA approved and regulated and while a lot of sources out there will make you feel like if you give your baby formula you are giving them liquid chocolate laced with cocaine in a bottle, it’s actually really good stuff and in fact the best thing next to breastmilk and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with it. Yes, it’s expensive, but it’s worth the piece of mind I get being able to go to Joann Fabrics to buy tulle to make these cuties while Scott’s home able to feed Summer….

…or leave her with Nanna or Grammy without having to worry that I’m tapping into my stash of freezer-bound breastmilk surplus for her to be able to eat. Life for us is good with the mix of the two.

I think the reason I felt the need to write this part is because there’s so much crap out there to make new mommas feel like dirt if they give their baby’s formula, and I’m here to tell you that that’s garbage. Formula is awesome. Breastmilk is awesome.

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I guess that’s it for now…rabit stew, random stew 🙂

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9 Comments

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9 responses to “stream of conciousness

  1. Grammy

    Amazing how your husband and brother-in-law made it to adulthood even with formula. I say go for it. Do what works for you and close your ears!!!

  2. i love this glimpse into how new motherhood is going. summer is adorable–and that picture of her and scott is so cute.

  3. Jaime, you look amazing, Summer is precious and you and Scott sound like such great parents. I know I’ll be freaking out about my first outing too. 🙂

  4. You look fantastic, Jaime! 🙂 Getting a little peek into how things are going for you is so great – looks like you guys are doing a fantastic job! (And, thank you for putting in here that formula is not the devil. I was raised on it, my sisters were, and my newest niece was, too….and we’re all very healthy and well-adjusted invididuals!)

  5. Awww, Jaime! I’m so proud of you, hearing what a good mom you’re becoming! It’s like my little nachos is all grown up!

  6. WOW look at you go! I am a new follower and its great to see how you’re surviving mommy hood. It gets easier and harder at different moments. I too did both breast and bottle feed my dino (baby). And the best advice that I read and helped me make a smart choice was ” no matter what you feed your baby, he/she will still grow up to be an adult and you wont be able to tell who was or wasn’t breastfeed”. The end!

  7. Jessica

    I love the idea of doing both breast and formula….after 9 months ..ok lets face it nearly 10 months… women need a break . Everyone keeps telling me that the bottle will totally screw up breastfeeding….are you having any trouble?

    • We haven’t had any problems at all…even gave her a bottle the second day she was alive…no nipple confusion whatsoever, she takes both the bottle and the boob like a champ. Obviously every baby is different, but I can’t imagine that if you try it out to see how baby reacts that 1 bottle is gonna make him/her refuse the boobie from that point on. I say it’s worth a shot! Seriously, I would be a ball of stress without having both options for her.

  8. Jaime, I love reading about your new-mama adventures. I am absolutely NOT in a place where we’re looking to have kids yet, but … you make it seem less scary and actually pretty fun. I’m sure my husband appreciates that. 🙂 Summer is beautiful and I’m so happy you’re feeling confident!

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