business in the front, party in the back

6 naked ladies walk into a church…

…this was hands down the best photo taken at my sister’s wedding, courtesy of Scott’s iPhone. But seriously…

I’m glad to hear that I’m not alone in the mother effing devil hour. Er, sorry, witching. I meant the mother effing witching hour. It’s not easy but there’s peace in knowing that there’s a whole slew of mommas everywhere going absolutely batty around the same time I am every night, that it’s only temporary, and that the 24-hour Walgreens down the street now sells wine in a box. Just sayin’.

Next up….the hair situation. My mom has been asking if I’m losing my hair yet because this was about the time that it happened to her after each kid. And up until now, I just chalked my giant hairballs up to the fact that my hair was 45 feet long and each fallen strand alone could create a hairball big enough to choke a mountain lion. But unfortunately now that my hair is nice and short, my hairballs haven’t gotten any smaller. I can run my hands through my hair and end up holding something resembling a small hamster. And it is everywhere…on my pillow, my shirts, and the bottom of my socks, Scott’s socks, and Summer’s socks and she doesn’t even walk yet. It drive me nuts when I feel a hair on my arm or neck and I can’t seem to grab it. It’s weaved in between the baby’s fingers. It’s in my bra. It’s in my food. It’s even in the dog poop which is just unfortunate for all parties involved.

And while I’m hoping it stops falling out soon, I’m happy I had enough hair for 3 people to begin with otherwise I’d surely be bald by now. Which is more than I can say for this little patchy-haired sweet pea…

She’s officially lost all the dark hair on each side of her head and it has been replaced with super soft blonde peach-fuzz. Needless to say, we’re wearing lots of bows and hair flowers these days because while she is absolutely the cutest baby in the entire universe, her hair on the top reminds me of Butters. 🙂

*sidenote – I’m convinced that it is a biological fact that all mommas believe that their babies are the cutest babies that ever lived so that they don’t eat their young. Just a thought…although naturally I’m the exception because my baby really is the cutest baby that ever lived.

Anywho, I’m keeping my fingers crossed for pigtails by her 30th birthday. And yes, I mean pigtails for both of us. Otherwise I’m afraid I’ll be known as the crazy bald woman who sits on her porch drinking Franzia screaming I’m in a store and I’m siiiiiiiiinging while trying to rock her bald 30 year old daughter to sleep….although now that I think about it I guess that could happen whether we have hair or not.

Ha, and here you thought Crazy Lady had left the building. You were mistaken.



Filed under ridiculousness

8 responses to “business in the front, party in the back

  1. That last paragraph painted quite the picture! I’m over here CRACKING UP.

  2. I lose an insane amount of hair every day already, so I don’t even want to know how bad it’ll be once I have kids!

  3. This post totally made me LOL! Especially the sentence “It’s even in the dog poop which is just unfortunate for all parties involved.” — because I’ve experienced it myself! Thanks for the good laugh!

  4. I lose a lot of hair every day. The poor guy who sits next to me in criminal justice gets it all over him, even though I’m never close enough for it to end up between his legs, in his jacket, and on his notebook. The only reason I know it’s mine is the weird shade of brown, and I’m the only woman in my town with hair that long in that color. My poor drain, too! I have to run the coat hanger through it every week, at least, and cleaning my brush happens every day, at the least.

    And, I never knew that babies’ hair would fall out. Or that motherhood can cause you to lose hair, not from ripping it out. Thank you for teaching me something new.

  5. jaime, i love your posts. you’re hilarious.

  6. Julio Iglesias

    You crazy.

  7. Is it bad that I’m looking forward to the time when I lose all this pregnant storage hair? Between the humidity and dead ends I’m starting to resemble an S.O.S pad.

  8. Pingback: macguyver hair gloss | rabit stew

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