I’ve always believed that everything happens for a reason. I think that while you may not necessarily know what that reason is when something happens, down the road if you look back at the journey that brought you to where you are, it always makes sense, and I believe if it doesn’t make sense, then the journey isn’t over yet. One of my favorite quotes, and I think I saw this on a friend’s Facebook page (so if it was you, then thank you 🙂 ) is:
“Everything will be ok in the end. If it’s not ok, it’s not the end.”
I love that. I believe that. I think it’s why I’ve been described as calm. It’s why I don’t mind being spontaneous. It’s why taking risks isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It’s why unsolicited advice irks me because I believe no matter what, my journey is going to happen the way it’s supposed to. Even if you get hit by a bus or swallow a bug or light your hair on fire, it was meant to happen, even if you don’t know the reason right now. That’s not to say that you’re not allowed to get mad or be hurt or upset or have to walk around with a smile on your face at all times, but to know that there’s a purpose for everything that happens can be a calming thought. It’s why I believe when you like the cashier’s hair or think the mail lady has pretty eyes or the old man behind the counter at the gas station has a sweet smile that reminds you of your grandpa… you should tell him/her because doing so becomes a part of their journey. Maybe you made them smile which made them want to do the same for someone else that in turn changed that person’s mood or maybe it made them hesitate for 30 seconds which stopped them from running into someone they could have run into but weren’t meant to at that moment for whatever reason and thus you were a part of their journey that was meant to happen that way to begin with. It’s why I love the movie Serendipity (on top of the fact that John Cusack stars in it, of course….mmmmmm).
Part of my journey that took a while to understand happened when I got married when I was 24 and divorced by 25. And while the day I got divorced will go down in my life’s journey as one of the most emotionally challenging days I’ve ever been through, it all happened for a reason. Though I didn’t know it when I was sitting at the Borders cafe with my sister sobbing into a cup of hot chocolate hours after I left the courthouse, I now know that that day is part of the reason I’m here right now. Had I not gotten married the first time in a church to the wrong guy, I wouldn’t have had my dream wedding on the beach with the right guy. Had I not gotten divorced, I would have never lived in the city, lived by myself for 3 years, learned how to struggle and pull myself out of debt and grow to be completely self-sufficient and strongly independent. I would have never had the opportunity to be single and picky and date and have fun and be responsible at the same time. I wouldn’t have been confident and proud of myself for my accomplishments and in the perfect place in my life to reconnect with Scott, marry him, and make the perfect little human being with him. I would have never smiled in the car on the way to work this morning thinking about Summer’s big gummy grin because she actually wouldn’t exist had I never gotten divorced. Who knows, I may have never had a baby ever. I may have never seen the proud smile on my mom’s face when she looks at her granddaughter. I could go on and on and on, but my point is that this all happened because it was meant to be… maybe my divorce happened in my journey so that all the rest could happen. And none of what might have been matters because it if it didn’t happen, it wasn’t meant to happen, otherwise it would have happened. Make sense?
Although I am still waiting to find out the purpose behind why I had to bathe myself with baby wipes last night after the shower backed up the plumbing to the point that the toilet started gurgling. I smell like a powder fresh baby butt. 🙂
Anywho, a few weeks back when I was nearing the end of my maternity leave, Scott called me at 10:30am. “Now don’t freak out, ok?” he started. Well crap, that’s never a good way to start a conversation, is it? At that very moment I was frantically searching for my Summer necklace that he gave me as a push present. Last time I remembered seeing it, it was sitting there on the bathroom sink so I was busy shoving a coat hanger down the drain when he told me he was on his way home. He had just been laid off. And I now know that the reason I couldn’t see my necklace sitting a foot in front of me behind a hair rubber band at that very moment probably happened so that I wouldn’t freak out, I just didn’t know it at the time.
Talk about timing.
We had a new baby, no income on my end for another month at least, a mortgage, bills, ugh. But I didn’t freak out. Everything was going to be ok in the end…and it wasn’t ok, so I knew it wasn’t the end. And in the weeks that followed, Scott made phone calls, sent emails and met with people, all the while being exactly where he was meant to be but never quite knowing where it would all lead him and soon enough, his journey became crystal clear. Scott found a new job with an old friend, someone who he worked with years ago, someone my husband has always spoken so highly of, always with a nostalgic smile on his face thinking about how much fun they used to have together. This friend hadn’t been on the radio for years, not since they worked together over a decade ago, and wouldn’t you know it, here he was starting fresh on a new radio station while Scott was leaving one and looking for a fresh start at another at the same time. What a purposeful journey it was! And during the few weeks that Scott was home looking for a job, he and the baby had the opportunity to create an amazing bond that wouldn’t have grown as strong as it is now had they not been on their own together, day after day. Had he not been let go, he wouldn’t have been available to start this new job when the opportunity presented itself. So as of yesterday, Scott is the new morning show producer for Murphy in the Morning on Rewind 100.3, and it’s exactly where he’s meant to be because it’s where his journey has led him.
Pshhh, I wasn’t scured.
And I want to say to anyone struggling with unemployment, health issues, family struggles, relationship issues, money problems, anything, just know that everything you do has a purpose and it will make sense in the end, it always does. So if your journey doesn’t make sense, just wait, because that just means it’s not over yet…