a doozy of a cliffhanger

Yesterday was my 21st birthday and this was my birthday present.

Wow, every time I take a picture of my baby, my hubby, my dogs, or any moment that’s worthy of being frozen in time, the picture turns out fuzzy and cockeyed, yet I take a picture of a gigantic ugly wrench and it looks like it belongs in a freaking Craftsman catalogue.

Ridiculous.

Anywho, so the birthday wrench…

Yesterday morning I had a heart-stopping moment that was straight out of a movie – I know you’ve seen it, it’s called Every Dramatic Action Movie Ever Made. It’s the scene towards the end where the guy loses his footing and starts sliding out of control down a mountain…he’s gaining speed as he’s grasping at the ground…sliding faster and faster….then right when he gets to the edge of the cliff he catches a rock with one finger and actually stops himself as his body swings out, his feet dangle over the side, and there’s pure silence except for the echo of little pebbles quietly hit the ground thousands of feet below him. And just as he’s thinking, “thank you, Jebus,” and breathing a sigh of relief, his finger slips off the rock and over the side he goes, plummeting to his certain, instant, bloody death with a splat.

Only in my movie moment, the guy was my engagement ring, the cliff was the bathroom sink drain and the splat was more of a clink clink CLANK. And I’m really 34. You weren’t really gonna let me get away with that one, were you?

I watched in helpless horror and yelled in that weird slow motion deep voice, “noooooooooooooo……!” as my engagement ring slipped out of my grasp, circled the sink in slow motion like a basketball riding the hoop, round and round it went until it slowed, hesitated at the drain for a few seconds, then fell down the black hole. I grabbed a flashlight but could only see the reflection of light off the top of the water bouncing back at me from the bottom of the pipe. And later as I sat listening to Scott curse the gods of gravity for making my ring go down instead of up, he realized a trip to Home Depot was in order because the baby wrench he was using just wasn’t getting the job done.

Once he successfully fished my ring out of the nasty hairy pipe water, I vowed to never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never never again take any jewelry off nor put any jewelry on within 5 feet of a sink, tub, toilet, garbage disposal, vent, grate, sewer, drill hole, pot hole, sink hole, black hole, volcano or slice of swiss cheese.

I really don’t want another wrench for Christmas.

Advertisements

21 Comments

Filed under ridiculousness, Ring, wedding ring

21 responses to “a doozy of a cliffhanger

  1. Kelly

    Aaaahhhhh, brings back memories of my wedding day before the ceremony 😉
    Nnnnnooooooooooooooo! Thank goodness the drain was closed. Hate to have to have explained that one at the alter! So happy it was retrieved! Success!

    • Seriously, I would have never ever done another bride’s hair as long as I lived if that drain hadn’t been closed. Talk about my heart dropping to my butt!

      • Kelly

        The “so happy it was retrieved! Success!” was for your ring 😉 kinda read in a weird way. Now super glue that sucker onto your finger 🙂

  2. Oh nooooooo that’s such a scary story!! I’m soooo happy that he got it out! My stomach just drops at the thought of losing my engagement ring.

    And you could TOTALLY pass for 21 😉

  3. oh thank goodness you were able to retrieve it. and that is possibly the most dramatic picture of a wrench that i’ve ever seen–nicely done!

  4. Oh no!! How scary!! So glad that you were able to get it out. I can totally picture that happening to me!

  5. Whoa! How scary! Im really glad you got your ring out!

  6. And this is why I never take my rings off! I am getting a bit nervous for when my fingers swell up and I have no other option though.

  7. Wow Scary! And yes I am impressed by your wrench photo. So glad you got it back.

  8. Oh girlfriend. I think the real present is your next birthday (22 of course). Zeb would have killed me! So glad you got it back. Also that picture is quite amazing.

  9. Eep!! As scary as that is, I’m _really_ glad you didn’t drop it in the toilet! Much less fun to fish stuff out of. I know, I once had to rescue a phone I accidentally flushed.

  10. I’ve almost lost my engagement ring down the drain a few times, and practically had heart attacks as a result. I can’t imagine what you went through until the ring was recovered!

    P.S. — So I totally believed that you were 21 too. Seriously. Then I was like, “Wait, didn’t she mention stuff she did in her mid-twenties in a earlier post?” and then I read your real age. I think you could pass for a 21-year-old much easier than a 34-year-old!

  11. Happy Happy 21st Birthday!! I totally dropped my wedding ring down the drain– had to get the landlord to get it out but it took a few days!! It was a total yikes moment. You are so not alone.

    • I would have flipped out and taken the sink apart myself if I thought it was gonna take a few days! I was even afraid to flush the toilet for fear that it would somehow disturb the water in the bottom of the sink pipe.

  12. I would have peed my pants. Did you? That was so scary. I had to stop reading for a moment because I was afraid the engagement rock was actually gone forever into an abyss of grimy, non-sparkly hell. So glad you got it back!

  13. Thank GOD you got it back! I have to take my rings off everything I wash my hands because if I don’t dry my hands and rings completely I get a rash. I’ve started putting them in my pocket when I wash them b/c I’m so afraid of losing them in someone else’s drain.

  14. Pingback: best gift I never knew I wanted | rabit stew

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s