I feel like the window closes oh so quick

What a crazy day of emotions. This time last year, well, I was 3 days overdue and so anxious to hold her….

 

I feel like it’s so backwards, but every time I think about the fact that Summer is turning 1 in two days, I get so sad! When I look at her now I see so much girl and so little baby left. She’s beautiful and she’s funny and she’s developing strong opinions and a desire to learn how to do everything by herself. I love that she screeches and squeals when I say “I’m gonna get you!” and then she flails her little arms and takes off running and laughing and looking over her shoulder to make sure I’m still coming. I love that when I say, “where’s my baaaaaay beeeeeee?” she’ll peek around the furniture and scream. I love that everyday she walks to the kitchen door completely by herself when the dogs start barking after I’ve put my key in the lock because she knows the barking means I’m home from work. I always do a double take when we’re in a store and a little kid comes up and says “aw, mama, look at the baby!” because to me she doesn’t look like a baby anymore, she’s my little person whose head comes up to the middle of my thigh. And for as much as I love love love my little girl now and the amazing person she’s becoming, at the same time I so completely miss the itty bitty baby whose body used to fit perfectly in the crook of my elbow, the length of her bent arm the exact length from the tip of my index finger to the tip of my thumb, my 2 hands fitting perfectly around her tiny torso. My baby.

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6 Comments

Filed under craziness, Parenting, Summer

6 responses to “I feel like the window closes oh so quick

  1. Simona

    I know what you mean. It is sad, but you have a lot to look forward to!! You thought this past year was great? The next one is amazing. And she’ll always be your baby, no matter how old she gets. : )

  2. Julie

    You have described what most mom’s feel. My son is turning three in a month and like every milestone it’s bittersweet. I always mourn each passing stage and yet am so in love with the vibrant, beautiful, bright being he is in this moment. I’m not sure it ever ends but I can tell you it gets more and more fun and Summer will amaze you in ways you never thought possible. Enjoy!

  3. I know exactly how you feel…and L is only 3.5 months! Just the other day I was looking at pictures of her in the hospital on my phone and I started crying – she’s already SO big and she’s only going to get bigger!

  4. Oh my gosh, she is so itty bitty in her car seat photo! Thankfully you have lots and lots of beautiful photos to look back on from when she was tiny. And each day she gets older will be a new adventure!

  5. Hi Jaime – I have been reading your blog since you found out you were pregnant. I find myself coming back here more often as I myself, just found out I was pregnant 2 weeks ago. It was a shock to me as I was planning on having children – just wanted some more “us” time with my hubby before then. Anyways, to make a long story short, I have been struggling the past couple of weeks at just how much my life is going to change. But when I read posts like this- your love for Summer is undeniable and you seem like a great mother. I wonder to myself, if by this time next year, will I be sad as well at my baby growing up and will I be a good mom?…wow…so hard to imagine that I am going to be a mom in February. I don’t think it has really sunk in yet… Sorry for the rambling…just felt like getting my thoughts out 🙂

  6. Pingback: we’ll never stop this train | rabit stew

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