I remember a time not too long ago when I didn’t see what the big deal was about swearing, and if I’m being honest, it still kinda makes me go hmmmmm if I break it down into what it really is – someone somewhere put 4 innocent letters together and decided that this 4 letter combo was to be deemed “bad” even though it doesn’t necessarily have an actual concrete meaning or even half a line in the dictionary. Why not braf, or perd or slor? What makes shit bad? Is it bad for you? Is it bad to you? I don’t get it. And while we’re on the topic, it’s also kinda funny that someone somewhere decided that if they stuck their second finger in the air all by itself and turned their hand backwards at someone, it was considered an insulting gesture. I say give ’em the kneecap, or the shoulder blade or ooo, the eyelashes because those make about as much sense as ‘giving someone the finger’. Maybe it’s all just a universal way to let out aggression without actually doing anything real or physical or legitimately destructive? I don’t know.
What I do know is that while I don’t think I swear frequently, I wouldn’t exactly refer to myself as ‘proper’, either. Bad words do happen to fall out of my mouth on occasion, like 2 seconds ago when I poured water all over my keyboard, the language became rather colorful around here for a second. I also let ’em fly when I turn for the toilet paper roll and there’s a spider hanging from it or when I kick the bedframe with my pinky toe for the 1,500th time or when I realize I just did something really stupid. Take last night for instance – there I was making dinner. I had whisked and poured my eggs into a baking pan on the counter and was busy preparing the cheese and sausage to go into it, and Scott asked me if I sprayed the baking pan with Pam. I said not yet.
Shoot. I mean shoot.
It took me a second to realize that it’s a little too late to spray a pan with Pam after you’ve already filled it with a dozen and a half eggs. For me, the swearing really just kinda falls out of my mouth like an insignificant tick and I don’t even realize it’s happening until it’s over.
Scott on the other hand, he has a mouth like a trucker and he’s just now starting to understand that after he says what the hell? and I ask what the what? that I don’t actually want him to repeat his sentence. Again, this one….
Though I was shocked that he was shocked when he found out that ‘ass’ is on the list of no words in front of Summer. Baby steps.
And now we are getting to a point in our house where we have to be extra choosy about the words we use because at any point in any conversation, I can pretty much look down and see the words being vaccuumed straight from my mouth into her brain through the little openings on the sides of her head.
And while I’m not gonna lie, it might actually be really kind of funny to see a little one drop something and go “aw, what the hell…” in a squeaky little baby voice because that’s what her momma and daddy say, I’d rather it not come from my kid because I might laugh. And anytime she does something and she sees me laugh, she does it over and over and over. Case in point, Scott sneezed ONCE over the weekend, she copied him to a tee, I laughed my
ass buttcheeks off, and now she’ll do this on command…..
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Cute as poop if I do mother freaking say so my-gosh darn-self.