I’ve been curling my lashes for 20 years now and once bought an eyelash curler on clearance. I probably saved myself a whopping $2. And the first time I used my cheap find, I positioned it over my eyelashes, I squeezed, I counted to 5, and when I let go, instead of seeing a nice curled set of Snuffleupagus lashes fanning me through the mirror, my shiny new half-priced eyelash curler cut my eyelashes in half like a hot knife through a butter patty. Yep, saved myself two whole dollars and 8 weeks of having to curl my lashes because they were too short to fit in the curler.
Two mornings ago, I outdid myself. I learned that it doesn’t take a cheap curler to maim the lashes. With my properly functioning full-retail-priced curler in hand, I positioned it over my lashes the same way I do every single morning, I squeezed, I counted…1…2…3…
In the blink of an eye (ha, see what I did there? Oh yes, yes I did), my hand slipped and I literally ripped out half of my eyelashes in one fell swoop. From inside my head it sounded like a freaking zipper and it looked like a caterpillar was on my curler when I pulled it away.
I can now feel air on my eyeball and it’s weeeeeeeeird.