life lesson – learned!

It takes but one time for me to do something stupid or embarrassing before learning my lesson and never doing it again. Like the one time I decided to get a little sun on my shoulders while hand washing my car in the driveway of my Wildwood house and I waved to my neighbor as he pulled into his driveway. Then I realized my boob was hanging out of my bikini top. And now I only wash my car in a full jumpsuit. In the dead of night. With 5 bras on and one of those glasses/mustache disguises.

I’ll never forget my sophomore year roommate, Michelle, busting through our dorm room door after a class throwing down her book bag laughing. And the words that followed, “why didn’t you tell me I had a huge glob of conditioner in my ear? IT LOOKS LIKE A GIANT BOOGER,” made me start laughing, too. And ever since, I check my ears every time I get out of the shower for fear of walking around with a huge conditioner loogie dripping out of the fold of my own cartilage.

I’ll never forget the high school sleepover at my friend Kate’s house where we had a bonfire in her huge backyard and we roasted marshmallows over the fire. And as I stood up to go into the house, I felt a sticky string of melted sugar pull me back to my chair by the seat of my pants like a lasso. I had sat on a marshmallow and melted it with me bum. And now, almost 20 years later, I always check my seat before I sit down just to make sure.

And in my 35 years of doing stupid things, I have developed a sort of checklist of a few things worth checking before walking out the door everyday –

Bladder empty?


Nothing hanging out of my nose?


Fly zipped?


Flat iron turned off?


Boob in shirt?


Keys, phone, purse, gloves?

Check, check, check, and check.

And this morning, after being at work for 4 HOURS, I looked down and realized I need to add something to that morning checklist….

Matching shoes?

photo 1

This will never happen again.



Filed under craziness, Funny, ridiculousness

8 responses to “life lesson – learned!

  1. Kathy Straus

    Hahahahahaha! I’ve done that before! Kathy Straus _____

  2. Jacqueline

    I had a friend that lost not only one, but two cell phones to the toilet by pulling her pants down with her phone in the back pocket of her jeans. I too carry my phone in my back pocket a lot, and make sure it pull it out everytime before I undo my jeans to use the restroom. Apparently my friend wasn’t smart enough to learn the first time, but I have been. Although, I can’t say that I didn’t lose our video baby monitor to the toilet by it falling out of my sweatshirt front pouch. Whoops! Lesson learned there too.

  3. aguasulis

    You are so wise and now you will be guaranteed coordinated!

  4. Sarah

    I’d say “welcome to the land of mommyhood”, but one of my single friends did the shoe thing a couple years ago…we all enjoyed it immensely…:)

  5. At least they were the same style…so I don’t think this counts this as a total fail. 🙂

  6. Hilarious! This is totally something I would do… Thanks for the check your shoes PSA. 🙂

  7. Creen - Colleen


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