Toddlers are funny little beings.
They fall over when they are standing still.
They’ll ask you for a crayon and get mad when you don’t give them a marker.
They want to help all the time, even if helping put the silverware away means placing all the forks and spoons in a pile in the drawer next to the silverware holder.
They’ll ask to get out of the bath but the second you grab the towel they decide it’s time to swim like a goldfish instead.
They want to be nakey all the time.
They want to drink out of a cup with no lid then accidentally pour it down their front and cry. every. time.
They’ll hold a fork in their left hand and shovel handfuls of food into their mouths with their right.
You can hand them a sippy full of apple juice and they’ll look at you and declare, “I don’t like!” while chugging the whole thing.
They’ll watch the same episode of Dora yelling at them over and over and over even though they know Dora and ‘monkey the boots’ will keep going over turtle river, past the troll bridge and inevitably save the babies on gooey geyser.
They won’t feel the heat when it’s 105 degrees outside and ask you to repeatedly push them back up the driveway on their tricycle as your own sweat is dripping down your back and pooling in the waistband of your underwear.
They’ll stick their hands in their own poop and then try to grab your face while you change their diapers.
They will always want what you are eating.
They will figure out what makes you laugh and do it when you need a smile the most.
They’ll find every piece of dirt on the floor and throw it away.
They’ll brush their teeth by reapplying and sucking the kid toothpaste off the toothbrush until you take it away.
They will learn what ‘mine’ means and decide that everything is theirs from that point on.
They will swing their floppy arms and no matter where you are in proximity, they’ll get you in the eyeball every time.
They’ll scream at you to give them your car keys while you’re driving.
They’ll insist on dressing themselves with a furrowed brow and a, “NO MOMMY, I do it by myself,” yet get so frustrated with socks that they’ll end up begging you to help anyway.
They’ll wrap their arms around your neck and give you the best hug you’ve ever gotten.
They’ll whisper, “mommy’s here,” and smile ginormous smiles when you wake them up in the morning like they haven’t seen you in years.
They’ll drive you crazy and melt your heart.
Yes, toddlers are funny little beings.