About a month ago I was at my parents’ house and my mom had an insane zooming magnifying mirror sitting on the end table. So I picked it up and started looking at my face in it. And holy hell, do not ever, never, never ever do that, the skin under my eyes looked like elephant skin. So I did what any other sane person would have done, I threw the mirror clear across the room, reminded myself that I’m an 18 year old trapped in a 21 year old’s body and walked away. Some days I look at Summer’s skin and I just want to pet her, I’m pretty sure her skin is made of velvet. Mine, alas, is… no longer.
Mothers Day was fun this year – I got to sleep in a little, treated myself to some Dunkin’ drive thru coffee that someone else for once brewed, poured, stirred and served to me, and then I got the biggest bestest surprise of my life… omg… wait for it….
I MADE IT ON THE COVER OF PEOPLE MAGAZINE. No Photoshop, no photo filters, that is me au naturale. If you were to open this edition of People, you’d read on to learn that I was picked for this amazing tribute because I buy Summer all the things, dresses in particular, and a blue one (that ironically I picked up for $1 at a thrift store in Michigan) is her favorite. I am happy to know that her impulse shopping and my inability to say no to her sad velvety smooth little puppy dog eyes earned me such a high recognition. And also, I’d like to thank Revlon You’re-Old-And-Need-Age-Defying Foundation, for my cover photo would not have looked so good without you.
Summer and I met my sister and her fam at my parents’ last night to celebrate all things mom, and we had some fun with some new snapchat filters. I discovered that if I was a man, I’d look like my Uncle Robbie (ahem, I’m on the left in case you weren’t sure).
And if my sister was a man, she’d look like Josh Altman from Million Dollar Listing. She’s on the right.
We had ice cream cake and lots of laughs and I still can’t believe that 9 people exist in this world because my mother’s uterus grew 4 of us and we went on to make 5 more. And we all get our natural good looks from her, 5 o’clock shadow included. Thanks, man.
I mean, thanks mom.
Jaime
rabit stew 