big mable

Skipper Steve, this one’s for you….

Once upon a time 2 days ago, in a magical land far away, there flowed a lake about which many tall tales were told – stories traveled throughout the land of ankle-biting seaweed monsters and testicle-eating shark fish, though the most talked about lake creature was a large sea beast known as Big Mable.

The stories had been passed down over generations, and in each story a few things remained the same: Mable was massive, she was very sneaky, and she loved to terrify anyone who came near her. The most commonly told story was that she’d float on the water, bobbing up and down unassumingly in the calm waters of Elizabeth Lake and when anyone would come close to her, she would swallow them whole, chew them up and spit them out high into the air, so high they would hit the clouds and never come back.

Many people had tried to unsuccessfully tame Big Mable. There was story after story of brave children who had tried to grab a hold of her reigns only to be bucked off like a bull-rider at a rodeo.

Oh that poor child…so young, so brave.

Others tried a softer approach by reasoning with Big Mable, to please just let everyone enjoy the peaceful lake, and she would smile at them, tell them she was sorry, that she’d behave and that they should climb on board for a nice calm ride. Those sad souls’ stories usually ended with, “and he drifted off to sea, never to be seen again….”

One warm summer day, a family of 3 arrived at the lake. Sure, the momma and daddy had heard stories about the elusive Big Mable who ruled the water, but they figured the stories were just fables and didn’t think twice. But the little girl, she knew better. She stayed back and searched the water for Big Mable from the safety of the shore…

…while her momma and daddy splashed and played in the water without a care in the world.

Never letting her momma and daddy out of sight, the little girl thought and thought about how to protect them should Big Mable decided to strike. She could try to fight off the beast with her scary seaweed treasure…

…though, perhaps that wouldn’t be strong enough. Oh, but wait….what was this?

Perhaps…

“Yes! The perfect weapon! Thank you, Jesus,” she cried.

With her new shovel in her pocket, she decided to climb into the water and do a little searching on her own while her parents were away. Perhaps she could find and slay Big Mable before anyone even knew they were in danger.

But Big Mable was smart. She knew the floating frog baby was in fact a hunter, so Mable kept far away. Then the family decided to go out to the middle of the lake on a boat and the little girl was very nervous.

When the boat started up, her momma was so excited and her daddy decided to get on the water skis and the little girl imagined him being gobbled up in one mouthful and she just couldn’t watch.

And when both her parents got in the water at the same time, she thought that surely they were goners.

And out of nowhere, just as the little girl had feared, Big Mable appeared and scooped up the momma and daddy from the water and carried them just out of reach of the boat.

The momma said “I’m not scured.”

The daddy said, “I think I just zheet my drawers over here.”

Everyone on the boat started crying, tears streamed down their faces and they squealed so loud that they startled Skipper Steve, and when he jumped he accidentally hit the gas.

Yeah, yeah, accidentally.

Suddenly the boat was speeding across the lake, pulling Big Mable all wobbly to and fro out of control behind it, and the momma and the daddy held on as tight as they could.

When the skipper saw that Big Mable was having trouble keeping control of herself, he came up with an idea to try to save the momma and the daddy.

Yeah, yeah, save them.

He grabbed a hold of the steering wheel and he twisted this way, he turned that way, he went around and around steering left and right, he got a crazed look in his eyes and yelled “YIPPEE!” doing everything in his power to get them off of Big Mable. But Big Mable just kept on bouncing all over, so the little girl took matters into her own hands, pulled out her weapon and did what she had to do.

She made it all the way to the other end of the rope and pop! Big Mable was slayed! The force launched the momma and daddy high up into the sky all the way out to the other side of the lake with a loud kerplunk!

As the momma scrambled to find her bathing suit bottoms that flew off when she hit the water, the skipper swung the boat around and got them all safely back on. But when they all looked back to see where Big Mable landed, they were shocked to see that she had vanished, never to be seen again.

Some say Big Mable was thrown up into the sky and never came back down, some think she sunk to the bottom of the lake and disintegrated into a million little pieces. Those that know better still visit the lake but always keep a cautious eye out over their shoulders believing Big Mable is still out there, waiting for her next victim. And to this day, that little girl is still haunted by the summer Big Mable struck. Once in a while you can catch the girl standing at the water’s edge, gazing intently far out on the horizon, and if you listen very carefully when the wind blows, you might even hear her whispering quietly…

“Someday I’ll get you, Big Mable. Someday…”

dance like nobody’s watching

We were hit with some pretty severe storms over the last 12 hours, a welcome reprieve from the sinus-stuffing heat we’ve been floating around in lately. Though welcome may not be the exact term hazy would use to describe the rain…

Poor little thing tried her hardest to climb into the 2 inch gap under the couch last night with no luck because thunder is apparently worth hiding from, even if it means clawing the floorboards to smoosh yourself out of sight.

I have to say that while last summer was amazing with my 3 months of maternity leave stretching from June to September and a new baby to snuggle, this summer has been my absolute favorite and I’ve been sucking the life out of every minute and haven’t had much time to sit down and write about it all. In the meantime though, I have rediscovered the joys of running through a backyard sprinkler in my bathing suit and eating ice cream faster than it can melt down my hand, rolling around in the grass and feeling the cool blast of air conditioning hit my face after playing barefoot outside in the summer sun for hours. Leave it to a 1-year-old to teach her mama how to let the world’s problems fix themselves and instead enjoy the little things in life again. There is so much truth to the statement, “the best things in life are free…”

Our Michigan trip was a blast and after getting lost on the way and driving through a part of Detroit that was scarier than the sketchiest parts of Chicago I’ve been through with a baby in tow, I’m happy to now say that I kinda know my way around another little part of the world. We did a lot of beer drinking, late night sister talking, baby chasing and thrift store shopping, and I now declare Christmas in July an official family holiday that will be celebrated every 4th of July from here on out.

On the work-front, Amy left us a month ago and New Amy started this past Monday. Though with a name like “New Amy” not being one to just roll off the tongue, we’ve decided to call her Gretchen and lucky lucky girl got to sit next to me while I stared at the side of her mug all morning while the internet was being fixed. Everyone say hi Gretchen!

What else….

Summer now understands every single stinking word we’re saying. If i ask her, “where’s cookie finger?”, she does this:

If I say “where’s monkey?”, she’ll go find her monkey blanket and bring it to me. If I say, “give Hazy the ball”, she’ll go get a tennis ball and hand it to the dog. And if I ask her “do you have any mail?”, she’ll run and check the little mailbox on her house toy and dance while opening envelopes because her mailbox plays the alphabet song, one of her favorites. And to make sure the girl isn’t disappointed, the mailman (Scott) has been giving her our daily junk mail, though every once in a while she actually gets legit mail from her friends…

She literally squealed when she opened that.

p.s. I absolutely love thrift stores so so much and I snagged that learning house toy thing from one a few weeks ago. The house toy was big. It was bulky. The door hit me in the shin and the base fell off every time I lifted it up to try to get it to the register, out the door, and in the car. The whole way home with every bump I hit, the beast would start playing music and with every new song that bellowed from the trunk, I regretted buying it more and more. Then I got it home. I wiped it down with some disinfecting wipes. I screwed on the base and I let Summer have at it while I looked it up online to see everything it does. And not only did Summer instantly love it, but holy shite the thing costs 90 ridiculous expensive dollars. I got it for $10. Best thrift store purchase evaaaaaaa. It’s the Fisher Price Laugh and Learn Learning Home and it’s awesome and have I mentioned that I love thrift stores?

And now I leave you all with some good tunes from the stylings of Farmer Tad and his biggest fan…..

To view directly on YouTube, click here

this week I became a momma

This week…

God, how do I describe it?

It’s been life changing to say the least. Yet I do believe that is officially the understatement of the century.

This week I learned the extent of my pain tolerance and that without an epidural I may never have wanted another child in the future.

This week I learned that my heart hadn’t even begun to love to it’s greatest abilities until now.

This week I learned to trust my instincts even when making decisions that I’ve never been faced with. Like when your gut tells you your baby is starving, you tell the nurse to shove her opinions up her butt and go get some formula.

And this week I learned that you can’t teach instinct. So when the lactation consultant tries to show you how it’s done but you know you’ve already got this, feel free to tell her to leave because you and baby are rock stars.

This week I learned that just because you’re overdue doesn’t necessarily mean you’re having a 10 pound baby. I learned to trust my body completely.

This week I learned that it’s possible to have a physical connection to someone else, even when the cord is cut. And when you hear them cry because someone took them out of your arms to prick them with a needle and they are hurting, you will cry, too. And it’s ok if you do.

This week I truly understand how much my parents love me.

This week, I became a hero in my husband’s eyes.

And he became one in hers.

This week I learned that everyone who told me that sleep deprivation is awful has never woken up to this smile.

This week I learned that swaddling is good.

But skin on skin is 100 times better.

This week I became a momma.

Our Birth Story —>

fun day at the lake

Yesterday Scott and I went up to Aunt Carol and Uncle Steve’s lake house in Twin Lakes, WI – it was my first trip there and I have to say, the house is ah-mazing. Seriously, Scott said “lake house” and I pictured a cabin…like a wood cabin with white sheers blowing around the open windows, a little crocheted rug in front of a wood-burning stove in the corner, furnished with wood tables, wood chairs, and wood couches, all matching the knotty wood walls.

I think I watch too much tv.

So anywho, I was in awe when we stepped into this gorgeous home and let’s just say it was not what a was picturing. And I mean that in the best way possible. Oh, and the color on the walls? It is the perfect shade of frozen push-ups. ‘Member these?

It took all of my might not to lick the wall. Instead I opted for a bagel, lox, potato salad, egg salad, grapes, cheese, crispy raisin bread and a few brownies. Hey, as long as I had food in my mouth, I wasn’t thinking of orange ice cream goodness.

After lunch, Scott and his dad suited up to go water skiing. Scott hadn’t been on skis for 10 years, his dad for 20, but they look like old pros:

…I opted to stay dry considering I was chilly with a sweatshirt on. 

*disclaimer* I also secretly maybe had to poop and didn’t want to risk exerting any energy in a wet suit…that’s not exactly the impression you want to leave on your new in-laws. Could you imagine the family get togethers? Ya, pretty sure me pooping in a wet suit would inevitably be brought up every time I saw them and I’d for certain inherit some sort of nickname like poopski for the rest of my life. No thank you. Steve, if you mention this the next time you see me, I will punch you in the arm.

Anywho, Scott and his dad did a few laps while I stayed close to home on the dock with Scott’s step mom, and I have to say that trying to take pictures of a moving target with a point and shoot made me want that DSLR even more. I kept getting pictures of the water in between the boat and the skier. Like this:

I have about 8 pictures like that and you only get so many chances to snap a good one when someone is actually upright on water skis. I did manage to snap this one just in time though:

My photog skills are incredible, dontcha think? (ok, ok, they were pretty good, too).